The best journey ever!
by chowdergal2
Summary: One day I'm bored and then boom! I'm transported back to the 1800s with cartoon characters and more to solve a crime.
1. Chapter 1

Author's note: This is my first cartoon crossover. I hope you enjoy it!

It was just another boring Sunday at home, and as usual, I was flipping through throughout the channels of the T.V.

"_And now back to the U.S House of Representatives where we talk about non-stop boring stuff in which you'll probably change the channel once you've heard this statement."_ I flipped the channel.

"You got that right loser. Who wants to sit around and watch a bunch of old geezers talk about politics?"

"_Channel 10 where we cover all your local news. From tornadoes to robberies..." _

"From missing tickets to sweaty armpits, I know." I said yet again.

"_Now it's time for John Frond and the missing key to the world." _

"Well, at least I can bear to watch this." I said.

Just then the T.V went fuzzy. I looked outside. It was raining. I groaned. TV always went out when it rains. There was nothing to do. I already raided the kitchen, bounced on all the couches in the house, and made various prank calls to unknown people around the world, yet still I was bored out of my mind.

"If only something incredible would happen, then maybe this day wouldn't be so boring. It might give me something to do…" And that's where things started to get really, really weird.

A flash of bright light erupted through the house. I turned around to face the window, which I fully recognize as lightning. It wasn't your average everyday lightning either; it was a color of a purplish, bluish color. That was followed by a huge clap of thunder that literally shook the entire room. The lights went out, which caused me to let out a scream. I stumbled and tripped over stuff to go to the kitchen. When I finally made it there, I found the flashlight and flipped it on. It didn't give a bunch of light, but still I could see what was going on around me.

"Clink, Clatter." came a noise which was coming from upstairs. More specially my room.

You know how in all those horror movies the unsuspecting victim is usually in the dark and he/she is curious, (or rather stupid) enough to find the source of the strange noises? Well, that's exactly what I did.

Like an idiot.

The flashlight trembling in my hand, I walked up the stairs to my room. I opened the door and searched the room. Nothing appeared out of the ordinary except for maybe the rattling of my bedroom closet. I gulped. Did I really want to open the stupid door? I put my hand on the knob and turned it.

Guess I did.

I stared into my empty closet and chuckled. There was nothing there at all, or at least until two figures stepped out of the closet. They were both old fashioned looking, like they were from the 1800s or something. I screamed.

I must have screamed for a long time because they got bored of calming me down and waited until I stopped.

"See? I told you this would happen, but no, we want to travel into the future and bring back this girl."

"Not my fault, Timothy. I thought you would be more careful than this."

"Yes well, we might as well give our spooked girl an explanation."

"WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?!" I screamed with terror.

"Calm down, let us introduce ourselves. I am Timothy Turner, and this is my partner, SpongeBob Squarepants."

I looked at them in shock.

"Wait, you're Timmy Turner? _The _Timmy Turner and that's…"

"…SpongeBob Squarepants and I prefer that you call me Timothy Turner, thank you."

"You guys are like my favorite T.V show characters!" I squealed. The terror had left me all of a sudden.

"Yes, well we must be going back to our time, and you," he said pointing at me. "…are going to help us with a little quest."

"Quest? Why would you want me to help you?" I asked puzzled. They smiled and grabbed my hand and pulled me into the closet. Or what seemed like my closet. The moment I stepped in, it was like I transported to another time. Stone streets, carriages being pulled by horses, people dressed all fancy. My jaw dropped. I was actually in the 1800s!!! I looked down to see my clothes had completely transformed so that they looked exactly like the others of this time period.

"Please be cautious Miss Antonia. It's rather slippery at this time in winter." said SpongeBob.

As confused as I was, I remained calm. One thing I didn't get, Timmy and SpongeBob don't live in the 1800s, they lived in the present. The only explanation is that I could be handling their ancestors instead of them or this part is set in this time.

"Where are we going?" I asked.

"It's near night. Look, the sun's already going down." said Timm- I mean Timothy.

"Yes, we should get to the pub immediately." said SpongeBob.

"Wh-" I began, but was interrupted by Timothy.

"We'll explain everything at the pub." said Timothy.

I followed the two to the pub and sat down at one of the tables.

"Can I get you boys anything, or you girl?" asked the waiter.

"No thank you, we've already eaten. But," Timothy whispered so that nobody could hear him except the waiter. "have you seen an odd pair of people walk in yet?" she nodded and pointed to a table.

"They're sitting down right now. Just came in." And with that, she left.

"There's our target." said SpongeBob.

I looked at the table. A boy and a man were sitting at the table. The man looked like a towering figure, and as for the boy, pale was the only word for him. He was busy chatting with another waiter. Suddenly the waiter ran away, shielding her eyes from his eyes.

"Ah, I heard young master Artemis had that effect on people, able to scare them like that." said Timothy.

"Artemis?" I asked.

"Artemis Fowl the second; a very tricky character indeed." said SpongeBob narrowing his eyes.

"Artemis Fowl?! Are you serious? Oh my god, I just got to meet him!" I said, running to meet one of my favorite characters.

"No!" said SpongeBob and Timothy holding me back.

"That's not ok, Miss Antonia, Artemis Fowl is the exact person we're trying to follow!" whispered SpongeBob.

"We're following him because we think he's the cause of a… problem going on in London." explained Timothy.

"Problem, what kind of problem?" I asked. Timothy and SpongeBob looked at each other like that they didn't want me to know.

"Well it's a sort _monster _problem."

"We're monster hunters and we think that," began SpongeBob.

"What monsters? Monsters don't exist at all, everyone knows that."

"And here you are talking to a talking sponge out of water and you have given the thought that there might be such things as monsters?" said SpongeBob.

I thought for a moment. Guess I really haven't thought of that.

"Uh, oh." said Timothy all of a sudden.

"What?"

Artemis and Butler were looking straight at us, with great dislike.

"Act normal." whispered Timothy to me.

Out of the corner of my eye could see Butler escorting Artemis out of the pub.

"Drat! Target got away!" said SpongeBob.

I sighed and wished I was at home now.

End the chapter.

_Heh heh, sort of short but will get better. Please review and give me ideas! P.S my real name's not Antonia. Just a pen name._


	2. The Monster Problem

Author's note: Wahoo! Look how fast these chapters are going! I'm going to sometimes switch from first person to third person omniscient (that's knowing how all the characters are feeling) sometimes, so be warned for any sudden changes in the story!

**Remy Buxaplenty: Hey, why do I have to be the servant in this story?**

**Me: Because I wanted you to.**

**Anti Cosmo: Could we just shut our mouths and get on with the story? **

**Me: Fine.**

Butler hadn't slowed down the carriage for a second, and Artemis wasn't too pleased either.

"Butler, why did you whisk me away from that pub?" Butler didn't say anything; he just kept his eyes on the reins.

"Butler, I asked you a question." said Artemis.

Butler sighed. It wasn't easy telling his master this. "We should drop the search and go back to Ireland."

"Ireland, why?"

"Because, I fear that this place is too protective. We could get caught or _you _could get killed if we're not careful."

Artemis snorted. "Hardly, London is too worried about the _human_ activities that go on in the night. It's the perfect place, much better than searching near Fowl Manor." Butler looked at him sternly.

"You may think that Artemis, but those two in that pub, they looked like monster hunters. And they brought a little girl with them too."

"She's not so little, she looked about 12 and three fourths old." (A/N Not really my age)

"Does it matter? You could be more considerate of your life."

"I am, but I have other things on my mind right now. Butler, take me to the inn, we have plotting to do."

Butler nodded and headed straight for the biggest, most expensive inn in London. There two servants were waiting for the two to arrive.

"Good evening sirs, hope you had a great day." said the servant, Remy Buxaplenty. He really didn't need the job actually; in fact he was really rich. His parents just insisted that he get a job just to get off their backs.

Artemis just mumbled and went up to his room. Butler went to his.

"Sleep well Artemis, see you tomorrow night." said Butler.

"You too Butler, keep watch."

Butler nodded once more and closed his door.

--

I awoke to find that my body was freezing cold. I groaned and pulled out the snow, twigs, and branches. My numb body told me I was still in the 1800s and not in my warm nice bed where I should be. I wonder if my family was worried about me right about now. I turned to my left. SpongeBob and Timothy were still asleep, snoring their butts off regardless of the frosty air. The sun may have been shining, but it did not reach where I was. I kicked the two investigators.

"Ah, I'm awake!" screamed SpongeBob.

"Trixie, please accept this wedding gift as a symbol of our to-be marriage." fantasized Timothy.

I kicked him extra hard. He glared at me.

"I still don't know why I'm here you guys." I said.

"You know why you're here? Because you're the closest human who was ever close to catching a monster." explained Timothy.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"What we mean is that you almost caught a monster in your own backyard, the dreaded two headed tapeworm that can become gigantic in a matter of minutes."

"Yeah, yeah ok, but what does this have to do with Artemis Fowl?" I questioned.

"You don't know yet? Artemis-"

"Hey look! It's Chowder!" I exclaimed, pointing to the cat bear rabbit thing across the street from us. Timothy slapped his face.

"Of course! Chowder is one of Artemis' to be chefs. He might know a thing or two about the Fowls." We walked over to the little guy. SpongeBob was the first to speak.

"Sir could you tell us a few questions?" he asked. The creature looked horrified.

"It wasn't me! I didn't do it! Ok, maybe I did stuff Mung's trousers in the rubbish bin, but that's all! I didn't know until I stuffed into my mouth! Please,*Grabs my ankle.*please don't tell Mung anything! He'll be so mad and I'll never be a great chef like him and I'll never work for Mr. Fowl. Never!"

"Calm down," I said, detaching myself from Chowder. "We just want to ask you if you've seen Artemis Fowl go by." The boy calmed down, a little.

"Yes, I did see him go by, he's in the Greensburg inn." he said pointing to the inn.

"Thank you, good day sir." bowed Timothy.

We made our way through the doors of the inn.

"Great, now what?" I asked.

"We could just ask Artemis if he's been doing anything unusual lately." suggested SpongeBob.

"That's a horrible idea. So horrible that it just might work." Timothy thought. Tuck lead us to Artemis' room.

"Well, here we are." Tuck shuddered. "You might just want to be careful around Artemis, especially his bodyguard." warned Tuck and went back down to his desk. We knocked on the door several times, but the boy wouldn't answer. I sighed. He was ruining my chances of getting to meet him in person!" We turned around to leave when we crashed onto a big figure. We looked up in horror.

It was Butler and he didn't look too happy.

"What were you doing knocking on Artemis' door?" he demanded in his deep, terrifying voice.

"We were just leaving, we had no idea it was Artemis' door." said SpongeBob. "Whoever that is." he added.

"If I catch you on Artemis' door again, I will hunt you down." he growled and let us pass. We all had the same expression on our face when we were out of the inn.

We had to figure out what was going on with Artemis Fowl.

My dream come true!

--

Butler watched as the strange trio left the inn in ran down the street. Things were really tight now. Those three must've come to investigate Artemis. Question was why would they? He hadn't done anything wrong here. Yet. He wished Artemis would hurry up and conclude this search so they could go back to Ireland and fast.

Or at least that's what he had hoped. Butler looked at his clock. It was a quarter till noon. Artemis would be waking up at 5:00 so he had to prepare the search equipment.

End Chapter.

_So how'd it go? Please review and give me suggestions :D_


	3. Garlic in my pants!

_Another chapter!!!! Yes!!!!!_

We ran until we got around the corner, away from Butler's prying eyes.

"Nice going guys, that plan worked out real well." I said panting.

"It's not like we had a better plan." said Timothy.

"Yeah, but come on, bang on Artemis' door? Yeah, real great one."

"Alright! We know that plan failed miserably, but why don't we construct a better, more effective one?" suggested SpongeBob.

"Oh yeah, like this one will sure outsmart Artemis this time." I said sarcastically.

Timothy sighed. "Do you have to be so cynical? Look, if we're going to come up with a plan, than it will have to be better and effective."

"Didn't I just say that?" said SpongeBob.

"Why don't we follow Artemis around from a distance?" I said.

"We've been doing that and we're not getting anywhere!" said Timothy.

"Well it's the only thing we have right now…"

--

Nightfall came and we took turns watching Artemis and Butler's every move. It was really boring just to sit there. Night after night we did the same thing over and over again, until I had enough.

"He's been doing nothing criminal! So far all we learned is that he likes boxer shorts, and Butler hates milkmen! What exactly are we looking for about him? What's his favorite color? Does he go to school? What?!" SpongeBob and Timothy looked surprised.

"You don't know yet?" whispered SpongeBob.

"What?" I asked.

"I can't believe you haven't figured it out yet." said Timothy.

"What?" I repeated.

"Artemis isn't a normal human being. said SpongeBob.

"Nah, ya think? What else is new?" I said.

"No, we mean he isn't a human at all, isn't it obvious that he's a vampire?" said Timothy. I bursted out laughing.

"Artemis, a vampire? Ok, I know he's got a vampire smile and pale skin, but that doesn't mean he's a creature of the night." SpongeBob frowned.

"Can't you see? He doesn't come out in the daytime, and you never ever see him drink anything at all."

"Pa-leze, we haven't seen Arty attack one human yet."

"Yet, he's waiting for the perfect moment." SpongeBob said. I sneered.

"Where's your proof?"

"Fine, you want proof? We'll show you proof tomorrow."

--

Butler watched them from behind the bushes and had digested every single word he heard come out of their mouths like they were vegetables. So they knew about Master Fowl… but the girl seemed pretty skeptical on that matter. But still, things could really heat up if those two reported them. The giant reached into his cloak and pulled out an almanac. He flipped through the pages until he found out what he was looking for and he ran to Artemis.

"Master Fowl, there's something I need to tell you." he said. Artemis raised an eyebrow.

"I'm listening, go on."

"Those two, the ones that I said could be monster hunters, I'm afraid they found out your secret, and they're going to tell the authorities, shouldn't we go now back to Ireland?" Artemis turned to face the window.

"They're not going to find out Butler. I've trust you've read the almanac before you came to me?" Butler looked surprised, but replied with a yes. Artemis smiled.

"Excellent, then you must know that the full moon's only a few days ahead." Butler was confused.

"Yes, but why-"

"They'll have no evidence if I got out in the daytime, so that's what I intend to do." Butler was still confused.

"But sir won't you…"

"5 days before a full moon, I will be able to walk under the sun without any negative consequences. It's the only day the undead can." Butler's face flooded with relief.

_Ah, that Master Fowl: always two steps ahead of everyone else. _

--

Morning came quickly. I yawned and stretched. I was surprised that Timothy and SpongeBob were up before me, but that's not all that was new. Both of them had their mouths hanged open in shock.

"What?" I asked. They pointed at Artemis and Butler who were out in the daytime.

"I thought you said he was a vampire."

"H-he is. It doesn't make any sense, he should be screaming in agony, or bursting into flames, but he's doing neither."

"Because," I said getting up, "he's not a vampire because vampires don't exist."

"No, it's something else, like there's a day where he can come out in the daytime." thought SpongeBob.

"Oh come on!" I shouted angrily.

"He may be safe from the sun, but he's not safe from garlic." said Timothy.

"Where are we going to get garlic?" asked SpongeBob.

"Right here SpongeBob." said a voice. We turned around to see an old man selling garlic.

"Thanks Joe." said SpongeBob taking the foul smelling stuff and aiming it at Artemis.

"Watch this." said Timothy. SpongeBob threw the garlic at Artemis. Meanwhile, a bunch of street performers were dancing and singing.

"Blasted street performers." Artemis muttered under his breath as he made his way past them. This was why he hated the daylight. The garlic found the worst part in his body to drop in: His pants.

Artemis started to scream and twist in pain that it caught everyone's attention.

Especially the street performers.

(Artemis) ahhh! aaaaahhhhh! ahhhh! aaaahhhhh! ahh!  
(Street performer 1) now somebody, anybody, everybody scream!  
(Artemis) ahhhhhhhh!  
There is garlic in my pants!  
(street performer 1 smells Artemis and wrinkles his noise in disgust) that boy's got some serious garlic in his pants.  
(Artemis) there is garlic in my pants!  
(street performer 1) tell me what's making you jump like that!  
(background) g-i-m-p, garlic in my pants!  
(street performer) ain't got no onions,  
Ain't got no bats ...  
(background) g-i-m-p, (Artemis & background)Garlic in my pants!  
(street performer 1) g to the i to the m to the p,  
Then maybe you can be smelling like me...  
(street performer 2) step right over and watch me put it down...  
(Artemis) Garlic  
Garlic!  
(street performer 2) step right over and watch me put it...  
(background & street performer 2) g to the i to m to the p!  
(street performer 2) who you got back home and watering your plants?  
(background) g-i-m-p, garlic in my pants...  
(street performer 1) how can i qualify for grocery store graaaants...  
(background) g-i-m-p, garlic in my pants...  
(street performer 2) yeah...  
Hypnotize me, put me in a trance...  
(background) g-i-m-p, garlic in my pants...  
(street performer 1) got an aunt Netty living in Fraaance...  
(background) she can't see the-  
(Artemis) Garlic in my pants!  
(street performers) step right over and watch me put it down...  
(Artemis) Garlic! Garlic!  
(street performers) step right over and watch me put it down...  
(background) g to the i to the m to the p!  
(Artemis) aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh!

Artemis stopped squirming around and fell to the ground petrified. Garlic did that to vampires; it froze them and then it started to burn them. A single bulb of garlic fell out of Artemis' pants. The performers looked surprised.

"Wow, he had actual garlic in his pants." The other street person looked at him.

"Gentleman, we just got doofed."

End of the chapter.

_Do you like??? Suggestions _


	4. More Problems

**(When I first started this story, I had some pretty weird ideas.)**

**Me: *Looks at paper* Hey, I should make Artemis like, a vampire!**

**Artemis: Excuse me?**

**Me: And I should make Timmy a gentleman! The ultimate gentleman!**

**Timmy: What the Heck!?**

**Me: And Spongebob should be your partner in investigating!**

**Spongebob: Yay!!!!!**

**Me: Oh yeah, this is going to be one waaaacky story!!! **

**All of the characters: *Stares blankly at me* **

**(And I used all of them) **

Artemis just stood there, frozen on the ground. Timothy smirked.

"Now's our chance to get him!" the boy said. Butler rushed through the scene and picked the petrified boy up.

"Darn!" said SpongeBob, stomping his foot down.

"What are we doing just standing here? Follow that boy!" exclaimed Timothy, trying to follow Butler, but he disappeared into the confused crowed.

"We were so close!" said Timothy.

"No use crying over spilled milk, we know we're they're going right? All we have to do is go to the inn." I said. Their faces lit up.

"Yeah, and then we'll get enough evidence to turn Artemis over to the authorities for criminal activity!" said SpongeBob cheerfully.

--

Artemis awoke to find that he was back in the inn. Lifting himself up, he saw Butler coming over to him and put a hot towel over his head. It helped ease the pain. He sighed with relief. Butler however, did not.

"See? Those two will be the death of you one of these days if we don't go back to Ireland right now. Your parents might be worried sick about you too, wondering where you've been at night." Artemis sighed again, but this time with remorse.

"You're right Butler; we should go back to Ireland. The full moon will arrive in 5 days, but we've got enough evidence already it seems. I'll just piece together what we've found so far about this." Butler nodded in agreement and started packing their clothes into to their suitcases. That night, they left. Before they did, Artemis went to the check out/in counter where Tuck was as usual, sitting there bored as ever. Artemis smirked. This was going to be too easy.

"I would like to check out and…" Artemis gave Tuck a cold hard stare. "you are never to speak of where we're going to anyone. If anyone asks, act like you don't you know what they're talking about. Understand?" Tuck had a happy dazed look on his face.

"Yes sir." Artemis smiled.

"Good, I'm glad we understand each other." And with that, Artemis left and went on his way.

--

"I can't believe you can't tell us where he went!" shouted Timothy at Tuck who just smiled.

"Find him yourself, good day to you sirs and lady." We all groaned and left.

"Where you think he went?" asked SpongeBob.

"Beats me. Does anyone know where he went?" I asked. Timothy shook his head.

"I don't know but *sighs* I know who does." SpongeBob and I looked at him confused.

"Come on follow me, and you, SpongeBob, go look for a ship to go on. Artemis and his Butler probably fled this country." SpongeBob nodded and went to the docks. I went with Timothy to wherever we're going.

"So where are we going anyway?" I asked curiously. Timothy just sighed.

"I'll show you." He said as we came to a gigantic mansion. We opened the door and I gasped.

There in the entrance room, was a young girl about no older than 12 years. She was dancing to classical music performed by a hidden band. And who should be there instructing her was Anti Cosmo. I fainted at the sight of him. Timothy rolled his eyes.

"_Oh so she faints when she sees hi, but not when she saw me?" _

"How's this, Master Anti Cosmo?" asked the girl.

"Yes, that's it Mrs. Grapey." Suddenly the girl tripped and one of her shoes found their way onto Anti Cosmo's shoes. He grunted with pain.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Master Anti Cosmo. I didn't mean..." began Mrs. Grapey. Anti Cosmo waved a dismissive hand and forced a smile.

"That's quite alright Mrs. Grapey. We'll finish the lesson tomorrow." The girl nodded and made her way outside.

"Note to self: Don't teach the girl dancing lessons until she gets balancing right." he muttered to himself. "Oh, and I can see you behind there Timothy, what do you want?" Timothy sighed and stepped over my fainted body.

"I want to ask you a question." he said. Anti Cosmo sneered.

"And what might that be exactly? Why you haven't caught any criminals yourself." Timothy scowled.

"You're a criminal yourself you know." Anti Cosmo smirked.

"I know, but I'd expect you to catch more than just _me._ Especially when _I _almost practically raised you." I shot up in a flash. Did my ears deceive me? Had I just heard what I thought I heard?

"Wait a minute, you guys talk in the same way, and you almost dress the same. Are you saying…?" Timothy looked at his feet.

"Yes, well I'm Anti Cosmo's apprentice."

"You mean you were my apprentice, until you made that horrible mistake." Anti Cosmo corrected.

"What did Timmy-"

"Timothy." they both said.

"Whatever, what did he do?" I asked.

"Well he almost was the greatest apprentice I had so far. He did everything perfectly except in one thing."

"What was it?"

"It was responsibility."

Flashback

"Timothy, come here." said Anti Cosmo. The boy came.

"Yes Master Anti Cosmo?"

"Here's the last part of your test, if you can keep track of this seed, then you'll be completed in your investigation training." Timothy bowed and took the tiny seed.

"Yes sir."

Timothy might have said that, but he didn't mean it. By the first day, he had lost it and failed.

End of Flashback

"So? It was just a stupid seed." said Timothy.

"Imagine that seed wasn't a seed, but a person in danger. That was the whole point of the test. If you can keep track of a tiny seed as that, you can keep track of anything. That's what my old Master taught me."

"Now you tell me. Anyway, we need you to tell us something." Anti Cosmo narrowed his eyes.

"Let me guess; you're trying to track young Artemis Fowl and see what he's up to."

"How'd you know that?" I asked.

"Easy, you come up to me when Artemis disappears. And I don't know if I should give you the map."

"Map, what map?" I asked.

"The person map. It's a map that can track anyone, even if they're good at escaping. I sort of use it occasionally for my own purposes. But that's not the point; I don't trust you with this map especially with Timothy here. He couldn't handle responsibility well. I'm ashamed of him, young Daniel and James did a whole lot better. " Timothy became red faced.

"Yeah? See here, I'll be ten times better than those two and I'll finally capture a criminal!" Anti Cosmo smirked.

"Is that a challenge? Very well, I'll give you this map. On one condition: you prove to me you can keep track of it." Timothy nodded and took it. "Now be off with you, Artemis should be on his way by now."


End file.
